Down In The Deep
by ZombieSam
Summary: What could be so bad that Sam is forced to leave her family, and Jake, far behind? I do not own Phantom Stallion or any of the characters. They belong to the wonderful Terri Farley.
1. Chapter 1

Her stomach churned, thinking of the impending conversation. This would be difficult; there was no telling how he would act. She wasn't yet sure how she would act, either. She wasn't sure how she was supposed to break it to him. Her position was such a hard one to be placed into, but she couldn't imagine his would be much better. He was too young to be a father. She was too young to be a mother. But she had to stick by this. There was no doubt in her mind about giving birth to her baby; abortion – just the thought of it – made her sick. He, on the other hand, had his entire life ahead of him.

Maybe it would be best to avoid it. Maybe she should just let him go on, and live the life he had planned for himself. Living with the guilt of ruining his life would be worse than raising a child by herself. There was no doubt in her mind that she would be completely along; her dad would go ballistic when he found out. Gram and Brynna would be disappointed, and side with Dad. She might as well start packing her bags now. She would need them the moment they found out.

She was a disappointment to her family. An un-wed pregnant teenager: everything her father didn't want. Exactly what she was. At least graduation had come and gone. At least he wouldn't have to suffer through all the rumors. She would never be able to look him in the eye again. Not that he would want to look at her. She didn't want to look at herself.

Her head fell to her hands as the tears spurted to her eyes. Why did she have to deal with this? All her life she had strived to make her father proud, and to keep him there. Now, because of one little mistake, all her hard work was out the door, and so many lives were messed up. It wasn't fair. Her fingers dug into her scalp as she tried to think of an easy way out.

She didn't know how long she sat alone before the rustling of the hay bale she was perched on alerted her to a new being. She refused to lift her head to the other. After all, there were only two people it could be: Jake or Gram. Everyone, including Cody, was out on the range check the cattle.

"Sam," the deep voice rumbled, and she fought back a groan. Of course.

"What?" she mumbled, her hands muffling the sound. Why could she not have a moment of alone time? Why could she not be awarded ten minutes of solitude on the worst day of her life? She hadn't yet decided if she should tell Jake the news. Why did he have to show up now, of all times?

His hand touched her should, and she felt her spine stiffen. He must have felt her tense, because his hand withdrew almost immediately. She felt bead, of course, but it wasn't her feeling she was worried about not. "What's wrong?" he asked, concern clouding his voice. Of course he would make it that much harder. He would hate her if she told him. He would hate her for ruining his life, for ruining his future. It was her fault, after all. She was the one that had convinced him to participate in the activity. There was no way she could tell him what was wrong.

"I've got a major headache," she lied, hoping he would buy it. She didn't really expect him to. He always caught her lies.

"Then why are you crying?"

She hadn't noticed the silent tears trailing down her face until he mentioned it. She pulled her hands back to look at them. They were soaked.

"uh, uh, uh…" she trailed off, at a loss. Anything she said now would be immediately recognized as a lie. There was no way she could answer him. Maybe, if she just stayed quiet, he would give up and leave her alone. Fat chance. He was ten times as patient as she was, and there was no way she could out run him.

His large hand entered her field of vision and wrapped around her much smaller wrist. "Brat, you can tell me. You know that." What had gotten into him and possessed him to say so much in such a short amount of time? He had to be on the edge of his daily limit. Right? She sure hoped so.

"Not this time, I can't. I just can't tell you. This is my own mess up, Jake, and not even you can help me this time." There, now he would leave. He hated to be spoken to disrespectively, and that was as close as she could possibly manage.

But he didn't leave. Of course he didn't leave. The one time she wanted him gone, he refused to budge. Typical.

"Try me." The two words echoed in her ears, and she had to fight to restrain herself from telling him. She had to remember how important his dreams were to him. A baby would hinder them.

She wanted so bad to be rid of the terrible burden. She wanted her conscience to be clear, she wanted to be able to breathe again. She needed to tell someone, but definitely not Jake. Tonight, she would tell her family. They would solve her problems by kicking her out. Then she would have no choice but to leave. She would move far away, and remove herself from the lives of the people she loved. Maybe Aunt Sue would let her live with her long enough to save up enough money to move across the country. Kentucky sounded like a nice place to live. But she had heard nice things about Tennessee, too. "No, I can't."

Her wrist jerked from his hand before he could sway her, and she dashed from the barn and to the house. His eyes drilled into her back, and she almost stumbled. She almost went back. She was crazy to hide this from him.

The door slammed behind her, and she tripped up the stairs, passing an astonished Gram in the kitchen. Mere seconds after she locked her bedroom door behind her, she heard the soft click of the front door closing again. The voices of Jake and Gram rumbled through her floorboards. She threw herself on her bed and covered her head with her pilled. Anything to block them out.

Footsteps thudded up the stairs, and her heart pounded. No, no, no. why wouldn't they leave her alone? That was all she wanted! A heavy fist pounded against her door and she jumped. "Let me in, Sam. Please?" Jake never said please. Before she knew what she was doing, before she regained control of herself, she had launched herself off of her bed and half way across the room. But the door remained locked. She knew if she opened the door and took even a glance at him, she would tell him, and it would all be over.

Instead, she stopped in place, frozen. She lowered herself quietly to the floor and prayed he would give up. She prayed like his life depended on it. His life _did_ depend on it.

Finally, night had fallen. Finally, Jake had left his post in the hallway and returned to his own home. Finally, her family had retreated to their warm, comfortable beds. Finally, she could pack her things and leave them to continue their lives in peace.

Her short letter shook in her hands as she read it once more:

_"I'm sorry. I love you._

_ -Sam"_

and taped it to the front of her door.

She almost dropped her duffle bag three times before she reached the front door. She almost forgot about the squeaky step, just a few from the bottom. She almost forgot to make a lightning fast detour to the barn to tell the horses goodbye. She almost didn't notice her stallion watching her progress from the wild side.

One more stop, and everything would be complete. The Ely's mailbox was at the farthest end of their driveway, so it was easy to leave her letter to him.

_"I'm not sorry I love you._

_ Please don't look for me._

_ -Sam"_

She felt her heart break when she laid it inside and turned her back on Three Ponies, and left the only man she would ever love behind.


	2. Chapter 2

At first, it was terrifying to hitch hike. There was no telling if the next ride would be the last, but it was better than walking. The majority of the people that allowed her into their vehicles were lonely truck drivers who wanted nothing more than someone to talk to until their next stop.

The second person to pick her up had almost made her lose her nerve, however. The man, a balding, forty-something creep had wasted no time reaching across his car to grope her. She bailed the second he stopped the car, less than ten miles down the quiet road. It had taken nearly a week to get across the country to Kentucky.

On more than one occasion, she had feared for her life and the life of her unborn child. Some of the men that picked her up scared her half to death, and there were several times she considered going back - going home. She couldn't, though. She couldn't go back until she was sure Jake had moved on and continued his life. No, she couldn't go back even then. He would want to do the right thing. He would put his life on hold and marry her. He would marry her because she bore his child, not because he wanted to. She wouldn't be the one to put a stopped on his dreams and hold him back. He had so much potential to be great. Her, on the other hand, she had nothing in her life. There was nothing she was good at, nothing to aspire to. This child would be good for her. It would give her a reason to live, because there was no damn way she would die when his child needed her.

When she finally arrived in Kentucky, it was pitch black out. Now that she was here, she had no idea what she was going to do. She had money, yes, but not enough to rent an apartment and survive. No, she would have to sleep on the streets until she had enough saved.

_**DitD**_

She was walking silently along the side of the road when fate intervined. The truck was huge and it shone in the moonlight. The passenger window rolled down and she was looking into deep emerald eyes.

"Honey, what are you doing out so late along?" the woman asked, and it took Sam a moment to respond.

"Uhm, I don't have a place to stay. I was actually looking for a place to set up camp for the night."

The woman looked to her husband who sighed and nodded once. "Hope in, dear. You can stay with us for awhile. We've got plenty of room," her words were laced with care, and she watched Sam like Jake watched a spooked horse. Her heart thundered in her chest, and tears sprung to her eyes at the thought of him. Surely he was over her by now, right? It had been over a week since she had left him and everything else behind. He didn't need her holding him down.

She reached for the door before looking back at the woman, who nodded. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door and pulled her tired body into the extended cab. The woman turned immediately to her and smiled again. "I'm Emma, and this is Tom. Its nice to meet you," her hand extended to meet mine.

"Sam," I said, shaking her outstretched hand. "Thank you so much."

The woman, Emma shook her head and turned back to face the windshield. When she turned around a few minutes later to ask what Sam was doing out here, another smile lit her face. She touched his husband's shoulder, and he glanced in the rearview mirror. Sam was out cold, more trusting of the young coupld than any of the people she had encountered on her cross-country trip.

**I realize this isn't my best work. I apologize for that, but when I saw the date I posted this, I felt horrible and wanted to get something up.**


	3. Chapter 3

It was sweaty work, brushing down all the horses in the Potter's barn. Since the moment she had begun to show, Emma had lightened her workload. No longer did she allow Sam to move the hay, or muck out the stalls. She limited her chores to grooming and light exercises. She wasn't allowed to do even the simplest of tasks on her own, though. There was to be another stable hand with her at all times, should something go wrong, or should she decide she wanted to exercise the horses. Saddles had been deemed too heavy for her to lift.

She couldn't really complain, though. Emma and Tom had done so much to help her. She knew how luck she was that they had come along her first night in the new state. They had offered her a home and job without a second thought. They helped her when she needed it, and Emma had found her a trustworthy doctor for the baby. If she lived to be a hundred years old, she would never be able to repay the kindness that they had done her. They asked very few questions, and then only the important ones. They didn't care who the father was, they didn't ask if it was consensual, or any of the nosy questions people tended to ask. All they were worried about was how far along she was, and that she kept herself and her child safe and healthy.

"Sam, honey, are you in here?" Her hand paused in the repetitive brushing motion when Emma's voice carried through the barn. She tossed the brush into the bucket, and patted the big chestnut's shoulder as she ducked under the cross tie. She could hear the light thud of Emma's boots as she walked the dirt floor towards her. She poked her head from the stall, and stopped dead, her words dying on her tongue. "Ah, there you are. This young man here wants to talk to you. He says he knows you. Are you busy?"

Her eyes didn't leave the face of the man as she shook her head. Maybe if she stayed hidden by the partition, he wouldn't notice what she so desperately wanted to keep hidden. She ducked back into the stall, knowing he would follow, and that Emma would give them their privacy. She picked the brush from the bucket, and moved to the haunches of the chestnut, keeping her back to the door.

She listened as his steps came to the head of the horse, heard the jingling of the mare moving her head from the strange man. Then he was behind her, trying to intimidate her into turning to face him. "What are you doing here, Kit?" she asked, trying to keep her voice from breaking. "How did you find me?"

His hand landed on her shoulder, trying to gain her attention. "Sam, why are you here? Why aren't you back home?" His questions were honest, and she could hear the genuine curiosity in his voice. "Sam, turn around and look at me, please."

She felt her heart skip a beat, and double in pace. This was it, this was the moment when her entire past life discovered her reason for leaving. She had no doubts that Kit would want to ease his family and hers the grief and the worry, and tell them what had happened and where she had gone.

"Kit, you have to promise me you won't tell anyone where I am, or why I left. You have to promise, or you have to leave." She could feel her heart breaking at the request, but it was necessary. She didn't want their lives ruined because of her stupidity and bad luck.

She felt his other hand rest on her neck gently. "C'mon, you know me. You know I won't tell anything I'm not supposed to. Now turn around, and look me in the eye."

She did as he requested. She moved slowly and hesitantly, not willing to reveal anything to even him. She stopped when she was facing him fully, and held her breath. This was it, now or never.

His eyes dropped immediately, landing on the bulge that was now her stomach. Every emotion she could think of crossed his face, and she could feel herself growing lightheaded form lack of air. He opened and closed his mouth several times, trying to figure out the right thing to say.

"Does Jake know?"


	4. Chapter 4

Her head was shaking before the question was out of his mouth. He had to have known the answer before he had asked. Why would she be in Kentucky if Jake knew? Kit knew Jake as well as she did, maybe even better. They had been siblings longer than the two of them had been friends. He should know that there was no way Jake would allow her to leave, had he had the slightest clue.

She clenched Kit's wrists, her eyes pleasing with him. Tears welled almost immediately, but she didn't try to blink them away. They would help get her point across easier. Kit always understood why she cried, and did whatever he could to stop them. "No, he doesn't know. And you can't tell him. Promise me, Kit. Promise me?"

He nodded his head in the most miniscule way.

"How did you find me?" She couldn't figure it out. As far as she knew, she hadn't left any trace whatsoever. She had paid everything in cash, and had only purchased things she desperately needed. There was no way Kit had traced her, it was impossible.

His face split into a grin, making his handsome face shine. "It wasn't easy," he started, his chest rumbling with a deep laugh. "You're one hard girl to find, Samantha Forster. Ya cost me a lot of grief, and a lot of money. But it was worth it, believe me. Now I know you're alive, at least. I tell you, when Jakey called to tell me you were missin', I about had a heart attack. Jumped on the first plane home, and got me the best private detective money can buy. Don't think I'll be goin' anywhere for a long time. The man leeched my bank account. Took every dime he could get his grimy fingers on. But, boy, it was worth it." He dropped his hands on her shoulders, his grin growing. Her drew her quickly to his chest, her bulging stomach aligning with his hips.

"I'm so glad you're okay, Sammy. You don't have the smallest idea how worried we've all been. Is it okay if I tell everyone that you're okay? I won't tell 'em where you're at. I swear I won't. I'd just feel better if they felt better."

She nodded against his chest, unwilling to let go of him just yet. It felt so great to have a connection with her home. Since leaving, she had done everything in her power to keep it all pushed to the back of her mind. There was too much pain involved with thinking about everything she had no more.

DitD

Kit had been gone for at least an hour. She could see him pacing around the ranch yard, running his free hand through his hair. Occasionally, she could hear his voice, lifted to a shout at the person on the other line, but he was too far away for her to make out the words. If she went closer, he would know she was trying to eavesdrop, and would only move farther away. So, instead of trying to figure out the conversation, she busied herself with the horses still in the barn.

Kit had helped her turn out all the horses she had run the brush over. Only four had been left, including the laid back gelding she had fallen in love with. She saved him for last every day, preferring to spend extra time with the calm gelding. He had seemed to adopt her, as she had him. He reminded her of Ace, in a way.

She heard his boots in the barn long before she saw him, and realized with a small start that it had been some minutes since she had last heard his voice. He came to a stop at the closed stall door. She glanced up to see him leaning casually against the trim as though he didn't have a care in the world. But from the tense set of his shoulders, and the way his jaw jutted out, he wasn't the least bit happy.

When she didn't say anything, didn't ask what had happened, he sighed, and slid the stall door open and stepped inside. He closed it before picking up another brush, and moving to the other side of the gelding. They were silent for several minutes, and from her stolen glances, she could tell the repetition of the smooth strokes was calming him down.

Finally, he stopped and leaned against the gelding. She watched as he braced himself to accept the extra weight, and the corners of her mouth lifted into a small smile. He was a good horse.

"Jake threatened to disown me, ya know. Said I wasn't his brother if I wouldn't tell him where ya were." Her eyes shot up to lock with his. No, Jake wouldn't say something like that. He fought with his brothers like cats and dogs, but she knew he loved them all. He wouldn't give that up for anything. "I know, I couldn't believe it either. I tried to calm him down, but he wouldn't, so I called his bluff. He hung up on me and wouldn't answer when I tried to call him back. Quinn answered. Said Jake was blazing, and had stormed out of the house. Broke the front door cause it wouldn't open fast enough." He stopped to laugh at the image, but quickly grew somber again.

His gaze dropped to the dorsal stripe on the gelding's back, ran his fingers over it lightly. "Why'd you leave, Sammy? Why didn't you tell Jake? Or your dad? Hell, why didn't you tell anyone? You know you could've called me. I wouldn't've told a soul."

Sam turned, walked out of the stall, and sat on the closest bale of hay. She leaned forward on her knees, gripping the brush as tightly as she could. It didn't take Kit long to join her. He leaned back against the wall, and she could feel him staring at her back, waiting for her answer.

She sighed and put the brush on the ground in favor of wringing her hands together. He wouldn't see her side. She knew he would vote in favor of his baby brother, and ask her to talk to him, to tell him the truth. "I couldn't do that to Jake. I love him too much to ruin his life. I didn't want him to be tied down to a small town life, and a small town girl cause I was too stupid to realize I could get pregnant. If I had stayed, he would've done what he thought was right, and demanded we get married. I didn't want to put that on him. He has too much potential. He deserves someone as smart as he is, with a life that equals his own. Someone that he can love unconditionally, because he wants to love her. Not because he got her pregnant and was raised to do the right thing."


End file.
